The Community for Catholic Moms

Feeling a Little Distant Lately

Wow, it has been a long time since I have blogged anything. Life seems to be rushing by without me in it!

So much has changed in just a few months, mainly one being that we are now expecting our 4th child, unexpectedly. My husband and I have been practicing NFP for about a year and a half and it has surely been a roller coaster ride. Since getting off the birth control pill, my signs have been everywhere! From too much mucus to none at all, that's how this one happened. I hadn't had any mucus for a few months and I thought we were alright to have relations, but I was wrong. So our world has been tipped upside down for now. I was supposed to re-enter the workforce full-time and now that has changed. We were going to have more financial stability which was going to take a load off. Now that is on the back burner.

I haven't taken this pregnancy very well and pray every day for acceptance of it, trying to find a reason why it happened. I know that once I hold this baby that all these fears will go away, but for now, I struggle. Everything was falling into place. It seemed like it all fell into my lap. I guess I was wrong. I'm OK with that, I just never imagined starting over with a new baby. Waking up at night at all hours, nursing, carting diapers and changes of clothes wherever we go. And the thought of going anywhere by myself with 4 kids?? Oh my.

I guess I'm nervous. I'm a little depressed at times, but I continue to pray for acceptance of this. I'm feeling a little distant because I didn't see this coming. I thought I knew the route God was taking me down (which wasn't easy- going back to work full-time). And now this. I'm trying to be open to life, but I just don't know if I really and truly am. Neither me or my husband are super excited about this and we keep getting pressure from the outside, friends AND family about other birth control options. It's very frustrating and VERY tempting to think about.

I'm writing this to ask for prayers ladies. I need all the help I can get. If you add me to your prayer list, could you also add my husband?? He particularly has trouble accepting Church teaching.

Thank you so much and God bless to all of you!

Tags: birth, control, distant, faith, nfp

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Comment by Lynn Frank on October 24, 2010 at 9:05pm: Hi Karen,

I just came across your blog. My fourth pregnancy was exactly the same situation--an unexpected blessing. :) Reading your blog really took me back to the feelings I was feeling at the time. He is 13 months old now and I tell everyone that he's "the best surprise I've ever got!". I can tell you that it took me until about 20-24 weeks to finally get excited to hold my baby. Like you, I kept thinking, "FOUR KIDS!?". I have adjusted to this one quicker than I ever did the other boys. I proudly stroll through Target with all four boys and snicker at the stares and the "oh my"s. Is it hard some days? Sure, but it's worth it. In the end, God knew what he was doing.

Thank you for this. I was on here tonight to find some comfort in doing NFP. DH and I are struggling with the fear of another blessing. Your blog, and my responding to it, has helped.

Blessings,
Lynn

Comment by Karen Cross on July 11, 2010 at 9:54pm: Thank you Bethany. I really need to get back to my rosary. Really really do. Thank you.

Comment by Bethany Roth on July 11, 2010 at 9:38pm: Your reaction is natural, no doubt, for someone in your situation-- fear, worry, etc. But what a wonderful blessing babies are to the whole family! Ask Mary to intercede for you, that your yes, your openness to life and God's love and Holy Will might be like hers--complete and without reservation.

Praying for you and your family...

"The child is ... the sign and promise of human liberty, because he is a new act of freedom added to the world." -- Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

Comment by Karen Cross on July 7, 2010 at 9:23pm: I really needed that Bears2Cross, thank you. I had a rough day today. I'm having some digestive issues and can't wait until I'm not pregnant, but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Prayers are definitely welcome!!

Comment by Bears2Cross on July 2, 2010 at 1:42pm: Prayers for you and your husband, Karen. And congratulations on the new baby!!! You will make it through this phase.

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