Combatting the Devil

So, knowing that depression runs in my family, I have been very aware of myself and my feelings over the past several years. I noticed when I was in college, that I was becoming a downer. I don't know if there is any correlation with a time in my life when I am making a crucial decision, and when I start feeling down, but something is definitely going on.

I know that I am not clinically depressed, where I want to take my own life, or feel like I need drugs to really pull myself out of it, but I do need something. That's when I started googling "depression and Catholicism" or "depression and spirituality." God is so powerful and can help you through, literally anything. And, I get that, I'm just not quite there yet.

I read an article online about the Deadly Sin Sloth, and I thought to myself, "Is that me? Am I just giving in to a horrible sin by being lazy and unorganized?" And to be honest, I don't know. Is the devil having his way with me every morning when I can barely drag myself out of bed because I just don't want to get up? Or when the house is in shambles and I just don't feel like doing any house work that day?

It is such a struggle. I see other mothers who seem to have it all together, and have so much energy to wake up early and exercise, get all of the housework done and still have energy to play with their kids.

The past couple of days I have been questioning my faith, so that in and of itself tells me that the devil is trying to capture me. And by golly, I won't let him. Like I heard Fr. Corapi say on the radio this morning, "If the devil tries to come scare you, tell him to take it up with your Father." And that I will.

I have been struggling through deciding whether or not to homeschool my oldest, and this I think has brought on my latest bout of the "D" word. I need to just give it up to God and trust that he will guide me and give me the graces I need if he is calling me into this blessed lifestyle.

Thank you for letting me share, I feel like so much better just in the short time it took me to write this.