This past week I had an opportunity to drive up to northern New Jersey, where I could show the kids the two primary homes of my childhood -- one a little red saltbox in the backhills of Sussex, New Jersey; the other ten miles away or so in Hamburg, NJ.
I was not prepared for what I found. The little red saltbox has turned into a rambled-down trash heap, with old cars rusting in the yard and our next door neighbor's grown through with weeds. My parents' trim little garden is piled high with refuse and yard waste, and the roof is sagging in.
The "Gibson Girl" ice-cream parlor where I'd spent so many cozy evenings on a Saturday night with my current beau had been torn down. Gone the red-flocked wallpaper, the high-backed chairs, the mile-high sundaes. "How could they tear down such a charming place?" I asked the locals at the breakfast place where we'd stopped. They looked at me blankly . . . apparently the Gibson Girl had been gone for quite some time.
The next house was a bit better; the mint-green stucco has been replaced with attractive beige siding, and the little white birch we'd planted as children now towered overhead. But there were changes there, too -- the screened in porch has been pulled out, the glider replaced with nondescript yard furniture. There was no one home, so I had no way to tell what it was like inside.
I walked away feeling sad. As much as any place I've ever lived, these were "home" to me. And even though the buildings themselves were still standing (barely), that "homeness" was missing. Home is now in Michigan, home is where I make it.
What is "home" to you?