Mass Control

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amy Naughton on August 22, 2009 at 8:57pm

Thank you for sharing that article Erika! This topic is very timely for me-we had a very tough time at daily Mass yesterday but we made it through. I'm afraid that several parishioners gave us some disapproving glances though. I understand this-it is not all that common to see little babies at daily mass. And I understand that people love the quiet atmosphere of daily Mass. But we are determined to keep going not only to improve our little one's behavior but to help them understand that our Faith is the center of their lives. And having little children at Mass helps promote a culture of Life in my opinion.

One thing that has helped us is trying to keep my toddler involved. She has just learned the sign of the cross so I encourage her to do it during mass. I also encourage her to say Amen and "sing". When she gets antsy I remind her that some music will be coming up and that sometimes is a good incentive for her to calm down. We try to keep our girls (1 and 2) separated during Mass which helps. The 1 year old is just learning to walk so it is hard to keep her still. I usually let my 2 year old bring some books and I recently bought her some beautiful religious books from St. Joseph's Press.

One thing I struggle with is keeping my toddler in Mass. I have found that if I remove her from the pew to discipline her it is very hard to get her back to the pew. So I try to keep her in the pew unless she is being disruptive. We visit the statues of Joseph and Mary before and after Mass and both girls seem to really love this. It can be hard getting through Mass but it is really worth it. My toddler has started giving us the Sign of Peace at home, which is so sweet. I was thinking I might get the girls some cloth dolls of the Saints that would be reserved for Church only-I don't know, maybe when they are a little older.

God Bless, and good luck at Mass tomorrow everyone!
Amy

Permalink Reply by Michele on August 22, 2009 at 11:37pm

Hi!
This is becoming more and more of a challenge for us as well. While we only have our 16 month old son (#2 is due in Jan.), we are learning the struggles of keeping him quiet especially during the longer Latin Masses. I too try to get to daily Mass once a week when possible, and have been lucky in that I get supportive comments after our NO Mass about his "lovely singing voice". But I did lose it during the Latin Mass one Sunday when an older woman shot me a look before it even started and our son was squirmy and chatty, but not crying or screaming. I spent most of the service holding our son in the vestibule and trying not to cry. How do these people expect little Catholics to become good Catholics when they are older? There isn't a faith switch to flip once they hit maturity and know how to sit for an hour and a half. We have to start now. These little ones are the future of their/our Church and they should try to bear a bit of noise. We are doing the best we can, but he isn't going to learn if he is out in the vestibule with one of us the whole time. Yes, this strikes a nerve with us. I try to make sure if he is particularly vocal, that he is well distracted or out for the homily, but the goal for now is to keep him in the sanctuary the whole time. Sometimes we make it, sometimes not. We have a very small canvas tote bag that we keep a baby Mass book in and a couple of other hand size cardboard books of Bible stories...and a toy for chewing - still teething. But that doesn't always help. I've spoken with my girlfriend (who usually attends Fraternal Society of St. Peter parish in Canada) about this and it is hard to walk the line of giving them an appropriate distraction for their age verses creating an inappropriate atmosphere. Her one daughter who is 3 would want to color every time they went to Mass at a certain NO parish because when they had to take her out, they would go down to the basement and color in her rosary coloring book. Well that association stuck and has been difficult to break. Act up at Mass and you get to go color in the basement.

It is hard. Trial and error. Every kid is different. Can't wait to see what our next one will bring us. (; This is great though. Please keep sharing any ideas and wisdom. I am certainly VERY new at this and envious/in admiration of the family with 5 or 6 little ones that face forward the whole time and don't mess around with the little girls veils. They are like little saints up there in the front and I don't know how they got to that point. I'm sure it was lots of work on their part at Mass and at home.

I loved that article, Erika! I have the whole Catholic Exchange article bookmarked. Similarly, here are two others. One from F&F in case you missed it when it posted. All three have been helpful for my confidence with getting through Masses - good reminders.

http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/features/sunday_morning_scramble

http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&t...

I didn't mean to sound like I was yelling (above). This can just be very frustrating, intimidating, and personal at times. Good discussion topic, Erika! Thank you!

Michele

Permalink Reply by Erika Drain on August 23, 2009 at 9:39pm

I totally understand your frustration! I can't stand when older people stare at us because our kids made a little noise. I always think, "they must have never had children!" LOL! Thanks for sharing the F&F article, I did miss it before. All ideas are welcomed.

The kids were okay at Mass today, my only problem was that at this particular church the pews are cushioned and the kids were tired so they wanted to lay down and sleep! We had a little problem with Josef, my 4 year old but Todd, my DH took him out for the rest of the Homily and talked about the problem and it was solved! It's hard my friends! I just hope we are winning brownie points out of Purgatory for this suffering during Mass with our little angels! ;)

Permalink Reply by Amy Naughton on August 23, 2009 at 9:24pm

As a child my parents had a good method-we sat in front of the nuns at Mass! My sister and I wouldn't dare act up with a row of Sisters behind us watching! Sadly, this isn't possible in most Parishes today since so many have lost their nuns.

Permalink Reply by Erika Drain on August 23, 2009 at 9:41pm

I LOVE IT! Yeah, too bad we can't take advantage of this. We either have NO nuns at all or those whom, for whatever reason, do not wear a habit....don't get me started on this one! LMBO! So unnerving to me! The way I see it is, you look so beautiful in a habit why not wear it! Plus, it is an outward sign that you've made the utmost sacrifice in this life, flaunt it my dear! Just being a punk now! LOL

Permalink Reply by Michele on August 26, 2009 at 1:43pm

This past Sunday was a wreck, but we kind of set ourselves up. After being at the beach with some friends for a few days, we thought "hey let's go to Latin Mass in the city". Bad call on our part. It was awful. I got another look from an old woman that just shattered me. (I know I have to get over the looks but I'm not there yet.) My husband took him out and after awhile I ended up in the vestibule again, fighting tears from the look and the beating I was taking from our son who thought hitting was funny at the time. I couldn't really discipline him much cuz the vestibule only muffles screams. And I can't put him down cuz he will take off and have a ball. The church is barely air conditioned and the vestibule is not and I was sweltering fighting with him. Otherwise I would have gone outside for a moment. Plus I'm sort of at the point in my pregnancy that I shouldn't be holding him as long. (It isn't bad when he isn't trying to wrestle me.) My husband and I usually try to pray back there with him and look at the statues but that wore off quickly this week. All I kept thinking was "this isn't worth it". I was so upset I almost didn't receive; probably shouldn't have. I was incredibly distracted and just a mess. So I think if we do Latin Mass again it will be better thought through on our part and after he is back on a normal schedule. Or we may just give up for a few months and see how he is as he gets a few months older and better at the NO Masses. Gotta go to daily once this week!

Amy, I love the nun idea as well. It IS a shame that 1, there are so few and 2, few wear traditional habits to set them apart.

Erika, glad you had a mostly good time this week.

Prayers for us in this noble stressful challenge. (:
M

Oh, question for you ladies: We are operating mostly on a decibel level now and I can endure a bit more than my husband, so I'm usually willing to keep our son in Mass longer than he is. This makes it hard in the moment to have a united front. Our son has more fun in Latin Mass because he can make his voice echo and while he isn't upset, this is obviously distracting to some. Do you and your husband agree on the point at which you take a child out of Mass be it for noise, behavior, whatever?