our baby Gianna

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on January 14, 2011 at 1:43am

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ann Marie. I'll keep your baby Gianna and your family in my prayers, and my heart goes out to you tonight especially. Thinking of you. (((Hugs)))

Permalink Reply by Ann Marie Henninger on January 14, 2011 at 1:45am

Thanks so much, Karen.  Good to know I am not alone...

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on January 14, 2011 at 1:57am

Emotional concerns aside, how are you doing? After our George died I found my milk was agony. Are you finding that as well? I can email you advice on that - was so hard to find updated information that wasn't going to give me mastitis. Let me know. It's so hard. Even grieving with hope we'll see them again - the human mother in us - longs for our babies to be with us. I think often of Mary weeping at the foot of the cross. (((Hugs)))

Permalink Reply by Ann Marie Henninger on January 14, 2011 at 2:02am

I am a lactation consultant, and I got my milk to dry up over the week between Gianna's death and her burial day.  It was awful.  So painful.  Hard to hug anyone with the pain.  I used a good bra and then also cabbage leaves to dry up the milk.

 

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on January 14, 2011 at 3:16pm

I'm so glad you have that knowledge! And you'll no doubt be a huge help to other mums here in future. My midwives found me Sage tea as well, which is the natural opposite to Fenugreek. I wish now that I'd pumped for the milk bank but we were moving within weeks of our baby's birth and death so no one mentioned it to me. But my milk came in so much it was really an agony for me - and I made milk for months even drinking the Sage tea and so on. Thinking of you. Hugs and prayers, Karen

Permalink Reply by Ann Marie Henninger on January 14, 2011 at 3:22pm

I was taking fenugreek and blessed thistle to boost my milk supply and I also ordered Domperidone from New Zealand for the same reason (that should be arriving any day - ugh)
I knew I could have pumped milk, but since I did that with our last child for 13 months due to his oral anatomy/latch issues, I wasn't interested in doing it again. For me, that milk was for Gianna alone.
I do have some milk that I put in the freezer - can't bring myself to throw it away...and I am hoping to donate it to a local foster baby in need of breastmilk.

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on January 14, 2011 at 3:40pm

It's awful, isn't it? I had just weaned my daughter - we had debated trying to relactate her - but it was 6 weeks she'd been weaned at that point....and I was in such agony with engorgement that to have it not work - yipes. I only decided to encourage weaning over tandem nursing because I'd had pneumonia for several weeks and I was just worn out. Thought I'd give myself a break.... Some women I've met haven't had their milk come in so fast and furious but I think mine did because I'd only just weaned?? You probably know better than I. The milk bank thing - such a personal choice and so hard - I would have been exhausted pumping and packing up a household and moving....things have a way of working out I suppose. It just weighs on my mind because of the pain I went through - it was a good three or four weeks of drinking only to thirst - the sage tea - nightmare. I'm just so happy you have this knowledge - and Ellie is a former LLL leader and lc - so any bereaved mums who come here will be well taken care of. And your photos of Gianna are beautiful! The ones on your site - are they the NILMDTS ones? Just beautiful. I'm glad you shared her with all of us.

Permalink Reply by Ann Marie Henninger on January 17, 2011 at 1:47am

We haven't yet gotten the NILMDTS photos back, so all the ones on FB and her CB site are from us.

 

I am sorry you had such a long time to be in pain from your milk!  That's awful.

 

Tomorrow Ray heads back to work for the first time since 12/21...ick.

Permalink Reply by Ellen Gable Hrkach on January 14, 2011 at 7:47am

Ann Marie, I am so very sorry for your loss.  Your journal is heartbreaking.  You are so right when you say that it’s hard to see or feel anything else except grief. You and your family will definitely be in our prayers during this most difficult time...

Permalink Reply by Jamie Baugh on January 14, 2011 at 1:30pm

Ann Marie!  So sorry for your loss of little Gianna.  Our Helen also had Trisomy 18, and I feel so blessed that she was born at home!  She only lived 48 hours, but the thought that our home was graced with the presence of this little saint fills me with consolation, as I'm sure it does you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Ann Marie Henninger on January 14, 2011 at 1:34pm

it is so good to connect w/another homebirthing t18 mom...