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I am having a VERY hard day today; my emotions are all over the place, and the "what ifs" and "should have beens" are driving me to nearly constant crying. My husband went back to work today for the first time, so I am on my own with my other children. How can this pain possible lessen? When does this get better? I realize its only been a week, but I cannot fathom bearing this for much longer. I am in so much pain, and I just want my baby back. Please pray for me.

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Amy Marie...I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and it's certainly understandable why you are in so much pain and that your emotions are "all over the place."

My friend, Karen, (the founder of this group) may also want to respond to you. She recently lost a precious baby son (George Patrick Andrew) in May.

Please know that my family and I will offer up prayers for you and your family. If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask. I have lost seven babies through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy (and I'm currently raising five sons).

God bless you...Ellen
Oh, Amy Marie. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering today and I'm sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby. We just lost our George in May and I'm still walking this sad, sad journey. Have you checked out Morning Light Ministry? I spoke with Bernadette, the founder, by phone; she lost her baby girl (stillborn, full-term) over a decade ago. She was very comforting. There are many, many, many bereaved baby mummas who blog and you may find reading their stories and perhaps writing your own baby's birth story and about your emotions to be an outlet as I have. My blog is at www.busyhandsbc.blogspot.com and from there you will find many others - notably check out The Secret Garden meeting which is a monthly online blog meeting of bereaved mummas. I am so sorry. If you want to email me privately at karencorr@shaw.ca you are welcome to. I am in BC and have a fantastic long distance plan - if you need me to listen I am here and will email you my phone - and I can ring you back - it's part of my flat monthly rate to call the US. I'm sure other bereaved mummas here at F&F will keep you in prayer
I just replied the instant I read your message and I see that Ellie has replied to you already. Ellie has been (thank you Ellie) an incredible source of support to me since our loss - but I didn't want to volunteer her before checking! ;-)

I am praying for you now. And I will continue to pray for you. You have other children I think by your photo? Do you have the, "We were going to have an angel but we had a baby instead" book or have you heard of it yet? It's at our library but we were gifted it from another family. It was a great comfort for our children and helped to explain to them what happened and how grief hits different members of the family. We still read it. I still cry. It's still a comfort. My older sons pick it up off the shelf all on their own from time to time. I linked to it here and there's a link on my blog. I would be happy to read the text to you by phone if you want to hear it before you find a copy. Sending you lots of love at this sad time.

The best advice we had was from an older lady at our parish - change your voicemail to let people know your baby was born into eternal life. That will help to get the message out. (((hugs)))

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