Hope for the future

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amy Marie Seltzer, MEV on March 25, 2010 at 12:32am

I am so very sorry. It will be six months tomorrow that we lost our daughter Teresa. At first, I was anxious about so many things, future children being one concern - would we could we, when would we have another? But as time passed, the anxiousness drifted and I have learned to let go of my dreams (aka my will) and am trying to accept His. I guess what I am trying to say is, right now, you are trying so hard to make sense, make a plan, grasping to know something for certain in a situation that has left you completely uncertain (and forgive my presumptions). I know there is a lot of extra worry and concern with subsequent pregnancies, but along with that comes more joy and excitement. I cannot imagine feeling guilty about having welcomed another soul into existence. Pope John Paul II said that the greatest gift we can give our children is the gift of siblings. Your son would love to be a big brother, and he would never want you to feel bad about having another.

I do not know if I have been of help or hinder, but know that my prayers are with you. This pain is so unimaginable, and I feel for you so very much right now. I at least had my other children to hold me up. Your cross is so very heavy. Christ be with you on the walk.

Permalink Reply by Emma Stewart on March 25, 2010 at 1:25am

Thank you Amy.
I think you are right about trying to make sense of things, make a plan and grasp for something certain. I feel like I have no control over anything anymore. And you know what - that's true in a way. God has the final say and I've come to realise that in a very difficult way. All I can control is how I respond to what has happened but even that changes daily right now. Although it is too hard to see at the moment, I'm sure God has a plan that includes me overcoming this tragedy and moving forward. I just hope I can choose to do that soon. Thank you for your words of support.

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on November 17, 2010 at 1:01am

Hi Emma:

For some reason I don't get notified each time when people post to the group - it is intermittant. I'm sorry I missed your initial post. How are you feeling now? Thinking of you and your Hayden. (((Hugs)))

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on November 17, 2010 at 1:04am

p.s. Our local mothers' prayer group has been saying a Novena to St. Gerard and tomorrow is the ninth week. I will hold you and your beautiful boy in my heart especially tomorrow. Have you heard of the book called Someone Came Before You? It's available through www.griefwatch.com and is for the children whose older sibling(s) are angels. We have the companion book for our children - we lost our fifth child full-term stillborn - and it is called We Were Going to Have A Baby But We Had An Angel Instead. It's lovely. Sending you all peaceful thoughts and prayers.

Permalink Reply by Emma Stewart on November 18, 2010 at 5:41am

Hi Karen,
Thanks for your message. It has now been a little over 9 months since we lost our little boy. He's still the first and last thing I think about every day - as well as many moments in between. I have returned to work - I'm a Primary school teacher in Australia - which has kept me busy. My husband and I are expecting our second baby in February 2011, within a week of when Hayden was born. We feel blessed to have this baby but it has brought a lot of new emotions into play - most of which have been very confronting. We are just praying for the best and taking the days, weeks and months one at a time.

I will look into getting the book you recommended as I often wonder how I will explain to our second child one day, about the brother they never got to know. A daunting prospect, although we are very proud of our little Hayden.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.
Emma.

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on December 27, 2010 at 1:17pm

Thinking of you, Emma, especially now that we've been through Christmas. We're having a special service of remembrance tomorrow night at our parish for the Feast of the Holy Innocents. I'll think of you and the other bereaved mothers here at F&F as I light my candle. Praying hard for your new baby - praying you have a healthy and happy delivery. I know what you mean about the emotions with a pregnancy after loss - we're expecting our sixth child on St. Patrick's Day. I only just announced it to my father and his wife on Christmas Day (they live in a different province) and to friends who live elsewhere. Only my sister, two cousins, and some dear friends have known - aside from people we know here who see my belly. xo

Permalink Reply by Emma Stewart on December 27, 2010 at 10:43pm

Hi Karen,

Congratulations on your special baby news. What a blessing. We are counting down the weeks until our new baby arrives. Not long to go now. It's hard to imagine that life could actually hold some lasting joy for us as this year has been so difficult, but we are hopeful.

 

Christmas was hard as we had many family celebrations and my husband's side of the family has a lot of little ones. We just wanted our Hayden to be able to share in it all but we did other things to remember him. We lit a special candle and donated the gifts that would have been his to other children through a local Christmas charity. It wasn't how we would have like to spend his first Christmas but at least we could help other children to enjoy theirs. 

 

Thank you for thinking of us and for your prayers. It really means a lot to know that although we haven't met, you are still so willing to be part of our journey.

 

May God bless and protect you and your growing family over the coming months.

 

Emma. xo

Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on January 1, 2011 at 6:16pm

Keep us posted on your baby's arrival! Praying so hard for you to have a healthy and happy delivery. xo