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Why doesn't my homeschool look like the ones on the Blogs?

I was just ruminating over my fears/frustrations/feelings of inadequacy about homeschooling. I have three children (7, 5, 3) and I homeschool the two eldest. I read the blogs of the wonderful homeschooling families and I get this picture in my head of children reading with curiosity, asking probing questions, working with concentration on that picture/project I gave them. Instead I fight to get in a few minutes of reading, writing and arithmetic with one or two while keeping the others at bay. We often end up with bad attitudes, and school sounds like this: "Just get this one page of handwriting done and do one math problem and then we can watch a show/go outside/have a snack!" And then, as a former teacher, I picture all the subjects/paperwork/textbooks/art projects in a school classroom and wonder what my kids are missing out on.

On my less stressed days I tell myself that these are the years to get the reading and writing down, to help them learn these skills, so later they can be self motivated learners who read with curiosity, ask probing questions, work with concentration on that picture/project I gave them.

Am I delusional? Fooling myself? Just going through the hard years? Anyone? Anyone?

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Permalink Reply by SAHMinIL on July 7, 2009 at 9:33am

Well for starters I think that in general people only write about the "good" things on their blogs. Seeing for the most part they are personal memoirs of their homeschooling. Looking back you don't want to see the bad and the ugly. You just want to remember the good and perhaps challenged moments. Just not the down right bad and ugly moments.

We have our melt down moments! I've been on Homeschooling Social Network Sites, such as The Homschool lounge, and mom's all the time share their struggles. Struggles that are very similar to yours I might add.

Mine want PS2 and TV all the time and I have to tell them NO not until ALL the school work for the day is done. That does help, but there are some days they have total melt downs on me and will set and cry. Just yesterday my son (8) had a melt down over copying his spelling words. Honestly, I just let them have the melt down (tantrum), and stand firm that this work (all the work I assigned for the day) needs to be done and done BEFORE we can turn on the TV or play with PS2.

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Permalink Reply by Karen on July 7, 2009 at 12:07pm

Homeschooling blogs are selective snapshots. If they are getting you down, don't read them. I read very few. Mostly just the ones that give both sides like Minnesota Mom at http://patentsgirl.blogspot.com

If there is something you want to work on, pick ONE thing and work on it. More hands on projects? Posters for your walls? Read alouds? Spelling Bee?
My homeschool leaves a lot to be desired. I think most do. Many, many women homeschool and not all of us are very organized and/or very patient. Just like our kids muddle through with our faults as mothers, they muddle through with our faults as homeschool teachers. The fact you realize you could do better, says a lot. It's the mom with the 'good enough' attitude that needs to worry. We ALL need to improve, improve our spiritual life, our interactions with family and friends, our charity, our parenting and yes, our homeschooling. None of us, including the bloggers you read, are perfect.
Think of one of your own blog worthy homeschooling snapshots. I am sure you have some if you give yourself a chance.
The 'perfect' homeschool blogs serve a purpose. To inspire. Take ideas and run with them in your homeschool. The purpose is not to run you down and make you feel guilty although that is the effect for many moms.

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Permalink Reply by Mary L. on July 7, 2009 at 1:12pm

I just want to encourage you. Yes, these are the years for reading and writing. We do lots of fun walks, talks, books etc. AFTER the work is done. I have 4 out of high school, a senior and sophomore this year, and they do do MOST of their work, strictly self-motivated. My 10, 8 and 5 yrs. old are still doing lots of phonics, reading, handwriting and math...and yes, it is a struggle at times...But, when they learn to read well, it changes drastically...for the better. I always second guess, it keeps me on my toes, but it has been very good for our family as we've stuck with it through the difficult times/students. Keep your chin up, and your prayer life too, you're doing well!

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Permalink Reply by Megan Smillie on July 8, 2009 at 1:53pm

Homeschool Blogs don't mean to, but sometimes they can be a bit overwhelming can't they? Especially the crafty ones! I used to read them all the time and then go beat myself up about how uncrafty I am and how much my kids were missing out. Now I don't read them anymore. It's just not my style, and my kids are getting a lot regardless of my weaknesses in that area.
What has really helped me is getting hooked into a program. We have a set schedule and all that I have to do is follow it. To the letter. And tell my kids, "hey, it's not me... see, it says right here that we have to do such and such today!" They grumble, but we get it done. And usually we have lots of time for field trips and day trips as well.
Reading and Writing are SO important, you are right. Stick with your intuition and to your guns! The kiddos will come around. I have found an ally here and there with the older ones in helping me contain/distract the younger ones so we can make some headway.
BTW... I hardly ever blog about homeschooling, even though I am homeschooling mom who blogs. Every family has a different charism. I do ask for a lot of advice, though!
LOL
Hope you enjoy your summer off!
:)

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Permalink Reply by Carol on July 8, 2009 at 4:16pm

Ladies,

Thanks for the encouragement and advice! I tried today to focus on getting stuff done early, before any play/exercise video/ even cleaning up after breakfast (believe it or not, this can really distract us because the kids are starting to help and it just turns into a big project....better done later in the morning/day). And it was better. I actually had the 5yo and 7yo working in the same room at the same time and it wasn't chaos. I guess I really need to find what works for us....and do it.

Megan....the "get on a program" advice is timely. We are on one, but I supplement a little too....but what I need to do is get it on a chart that we check off so the kids can see what they need to do...and as you said, I can point and say :"Look what the chart/list says?"

Again....thanks! And I think I will curb the blog reading for now (except this one)

PS: that is why I have always been a Danielle Bean fan...just a fun dose of reality :) Thanks Danielle.

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Permalink Reply by Carol on July 9, 2009 at 2:21am

By the way....

I re-read my post and thought I sounded a little harsh about the homeschool blogs. I don't mean to....really, I have learned so much from the many Mom's out there who generously share their homeschooling ideas and experiences. It has helped me think out my own approach to homeschooling. I think I need to remind myself that my little age range (3-7) is going to look a lot different in terms of how a household functions than families whose ages range from baby to teen and all in between. Or have mostly older children.

All this to say, I am not knocking homeschool blogs, just maybe realizing that my personality, time in my life, etc requires me to be careful how much time I spend reading them.

Thanks again....I have to say how great it is to have this community to go to. I live in Scotland and homeschooling here is very rare. The only other family I know of is another American one!

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Permalink Reply by Mary Brazeau on July 9, 2009 at 8:26am

Just my 2 cents:

when we first started I had 2 tracks. One for good days and one for bad days. Then by eliminated some toys and such that were less than excellent we realized there simply was nothing they could do in our house that wasn't school! I can count the bad days even if not a single textbook was touched.

It also helps to focus on which things beyond reading and math are priorities for you. For me its the arts. We play a variety of music during chores, hang up pictures they've made and prints of great works-- not as often as needed but when we can. It did sink in-- my young adults are both minoring in Fine Arts.

It helps to value thought as well. In school it appears the class is moving on because the teacher may move on after the first kid raises a hand and answers even though the rest of the class did not have time to complete the thought process. In your homeschool the children have the think out every answer. That is why a half hour of homeschooling is worth an hour of classroom.

We have plenty of bad days- but if I concentrate on them I lose heart.

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Permalink Reply by Bears2Cross on September 14, 2009 at 12:19am

Hi Carol! Can I say, it just makes me feel better to hear you say exactly what I have been feeling for the last two and a half years of school? As a fellow expat (Israel, and homeschooling is practically unheard of here too) I've noticed that I also feel pressure to make homeschooling look good to everyone around us as well as myself. But currently, "keeping the others at bay" is a great description of what goes on in our house!! :) Mine are 9, 6, and 2, and I have to constantly remind myself that THEY are not like the kids of the people who actually have TIME to blog about homeschooling!! Heehee. They are great kids and I wouldn't trade them but all who know us well agree that they require more energy than the average bear; and I don't know about Scotland but just LIVING here seems to take up a lot more time. I am optimistic that the coming years will start to look better as they grow up and the logistical/parenting issues change with the times. Blessings to you!

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Martin on July 19, 2010 at 2:47pm

I feel the same way. I homeschool our 11 yr. old, but am thinking about sending our 7 yr. old out to school because I feel I just don't have what it takes. I have to homeschool our 11 yr. old due to emotional problems, but it's hard because my kids are CONSTANTLY fighting no matter what and it is extremely hard to concentrate. Plus, I didn't have the best education growing up, so that bothers me quite a bit.