The Community for Catholic Moms

The Big Picture?

Our oldest is a freshman in high school. I worry that I am so bogged down in day to day life that I am not really preparing my kids to go out on their own. We have 3 short years left with our oldest. I feel like we have so much more to teach her before she goes off to college. I'm really concerned about big picture questions like faith, work, choosing a vocation.
Does anyone else feel like this? If you have older kids, how do you (or how did you) make time to talk about these questions with them? And will teens listen?

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Permalink Reply by Lucy Sheahan on March 17, 2010 at 1:33pm

My oldest two are Juniors this year, so I feel the "time running out" too.

Our experience is that teens will listen during times of non-conflict. That means trying to make weekly lunch or coffee dates. For the "big talk" we have planned a weekend away; dad with son and mom with daughter. That was so special and memorable.

Movies with messages we can discuss are also helpful. We just recently watched a documentary on credit card overuse in our country which lent itself to fruitful discussion and warnings. Pure Love is a website we can look over together and discuss. We're watching the Father Corapi videos and plan to go through the "Big Bible Adventure" together. We're also planning on watching some parenting videos together. We believe in courtship and so that's a big area of ongoing discussion: what virtues and qualities to look for in a husband/wife and what are some red flags? We plan to compile a list of questions that they'll want to ask a potential spouse about their childhood, upraising, money, parenting, faith...etc.

We're getting to the stage where we have to be honest about our own failings (they can see them all plainly now anyway) and even ask them to pray for us.

I think I'll meet with my hubby soon and make a list of what we really want to accomplish before they leave the nest, so we don't forget anything. Most of all, the sacraments are what form them more than all of our earthly efforts, so I can rest easy in that. :) Also, I asked Our Lady to raise them a long time ago, because I felt like I was just messing up all over the place, and she has done amazing job in spite of my failings!

In Christ,
Lucy
www.mysticalrosedesign.blogspot.com