The Community for Catholic Moms

How Do You Reconnect?

I just joined this evening, and I need some advice.

I was born and raised a Catholic, went to Catholic school for 12 years, my husband is Catholic, we're raising our 2 sons Catholic (though they go to public school), we go to Mass pretty regularly, I teach PREP to 5 great special needs kids, but I feel really disconnected from my faith. I believe in God, but I don't feel His presence in my life very strongly. Does that make sense?

My children are really good kids, get good grades, have nice friends, are compassionate, etc., but my older son, who is 11, believes in God but doesn't see the point of Mass and PREP. I don't know what to say to him, because for the last year or so I've been feeling disconnected myself, even though we continue to go to Mass. I feel like I've been faking it.

How do you reconnect spiritually and feel God's loving presence in your life more closely when you are at a spiritual low point? And how can you impart your faith to your children when you feel this way?

Thanks for listening.

Donna

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Permalink Reply by SAHMinIL on July 5, 2009 at 10:12am

It is hard, one thing I would do is continue to go to Mass and while there just pray that God helps you with your disbelieve. I would also try to be a little bit more open minded. You are going with the attitude that this is pointless, so you have to over come that attitude.

Also talk with your priest. Seriously, talk to him. He will be able to guide you. I know it's hard we don't want to admit to the priest or issues, especially issues of disbelieve and feeling disconnected. However, he really can help you! Better then any anonymous person on a forum.

The last thing I would do is read books about Catholicism books that may help to renew your spirit, books such as Rediscovering Catholicism by Mathew Kelly.

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Permalink Reply by Marie V. on July 5, 2009 at 12:20pm

I really have to second Susan's suggestion of confession. Also, regular praying of the Rosary along with my husband has helped us a great deal. Even if you don't find the time for any other spiritual practice on a given day, those fifteen mins meditating on a part of Our Lord's life can help so much. God Bless you and your family.

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Permalink Reply by Kathie Satake on July 5, 2009 at 2:40pm

Jeff Cavins has a wonderful Bible Study called "The Great Adventure"-- google this. I have read the Bible for over 30 years and found out soo many things about God and our faith after listening to Jeff. He has five or six different Bible studies. The first is on the old Testament. A person hears how boring that is--it may have been until Jeff Cavins explains it.
We have a son who goes to another church. When we talk and he shares what he is learning in his new church, I am able to tell him that the Catholic Church teaches that--too bad we do not get tose teachings at Mass or have more Catholic Bible Studies. Listening to Priests talk on, leaves me pretty cold--I don't think they could be more boring--this from one who has studied the church for lots and lots of years. PS It was my Protestsant friends that got me started--there was a time in our lives when we went to Saturday night Mass for the Eucharist and listened to Protestant TV on Sunday mornings to get the Word.
Look up Jeff Cavins and see if you can get your family interested. He has a Teen version of the OT that is wonderful.

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Permalink Reply by Ann on July 5, 2009 at 7:24pm

You make perfect sense. I am going through a similar period. In fact, we all go through these periods. some of us for our whole lifetimes. Even Mother Teresa did...why would we think we would be any different?

The answer that I have come up with is that we have to keep going, and push through the doubt and darkness and disconnect. Remember, we go to to Mass to serve God, not to be served. Let the Mass wash over you. The liturgy is unchanging, fall into it. Let your prayers be prayers of thanksgiving. Let go.

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Permalink Reply by Donna Wilhelm on July 5, 2009 at 11:47pm

Ladies, thank you all for your advice, prayers, and support. I really appreciate it, and I got some really good ideas from your posts. I prayed the rosary today; it had been such a long time since I've done that, and being quiet (except for the prayers, of course) and meditating on my faith was a great gift to myself. I will continue to work through this, but I'm glad I found others who could share their experiences.

Donna

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Permalink Reply by Joannie on July 7, 2009 at 12:20am

Dear Donna,
From your picture and young family, even having had a "Catholic Education" may have left you hungry in the area of Catholic teaching. Over past forty years the Church has undergone great turmoil and sadly in some cases poor teaching. Believe me, living in the late sixties and seventies (with a young family) was a test of faith or lack of it. By the grace of God, I was able to come back. I could not leave our Church because ultimately it was all about the Holy Eucharist. I say this because something you said "feel His presence" struck me. We know through Church teaching that we cannot base our faith on feelings. My question is then one that relates to the crisis of the 60's and 70's: Do you believe in the true presence of Jesus, body and blood, soul and divinity? The Holy Eucharist, the body and blood of Christ, nourishes us and heals us. I would suggest that you pray, find a Eucharistic chapel and meditate on scripture verses on Jesus' statements on the Holy Eucharist. (Three of the four Gospels record the institution of the Holy Eucharist: Matthew 26:25-29; Mark 14:22-25; Luke 22:19-23. St. Paul also records it in First Corinthians 11:23-25). Go to EWTN.COM menu Faith and then to Eucharist. Kneeling near your tabernacle at church or at a Eucharistic chapel (exposition of the Holy Eucharist) you can just talk to Jesus and share your thoughts with Him. Our Blessed Mother is a powerful intercessor. Jesus never refuses His mother.
As far as your son, I think that it's not unusual for children to think that way. With that being said, he will watch you and your husband to see what you do and what you believe. Your attendance at Mass (unbloody sacrifice), the reverence and importance you place on it and especially the Holy Eucharistic will ultimately be key. Does that guarantee that he won't rebel. No. But as you plant seeds of faith, there is always the chance they will germinate at a later date. Jesus is a personal Savior. Each of us has to make a personal relationship with the use of our free will. Baptism, 1st Holy Communion, confirmation all provide for that personal relationship. In order to maintain it is a matter of free will and faith. Trust me, you are the model. We are suffering great consequences from the 60’s and 70’s. My two older sons don’t go to Mass. My grandson’s are not baptized. My hear aches but I pray. I am graced with an 80’s daughter (I had made a conversion by then) who is developing a strong faith. Praise God. I will include your family in my prayers. Please keep ours in yours.
Blessings in Christ Jesus, Nana Joannie

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Permalink Reply by Deborah Garcia on July 9, 2009 at 6:31pm

I know how you feel...I was there about 3 years ago. I found this wonderful book called A mothers Rule Of Life, How to bring order to your home and peace to your home. I found that what I was missing was Gods Grace. This book helped me to get my house in order as well as my prayer life. I pray several times a day,me and my child attend mass 4 times a week, and I get more done now then I ever did. But I also find that I am at peace. I feel Gods Grace flowing over me, and its such a warm and bright feeling. I love my life, not because everything is perfect, I will assure you its not, but because I know I can handle everything comming my way, because I am vessel open to Gods Will, I never fight it, because the end result of what ever God sends my way, the end result is always beyond , and better than I could ever imagin. The lessons I learn, are priceless. The healing is soothing to the soul.
Also Re invigorate yourself, refer to my last posting here:
""""What if you don't have to live with it??? Have you heard of Catholic Apologetics? The reason I ask is that my husband and I were going to leave the Catholic church, but by GOD's Grace, we were introduced to John Martignoni. John is a defender of the Catholic Faith, he proved to us unequivocally that the Catholic Church is the one true Church. He also helped us to realize the beauty of the Mass, and what a gift we have in the Sacraments. There are several other Apologists and I will list some of the sites. Don't be afraid to confront your children, not in a negative way. Mothers, we have to arm ourselves in this "Spiritual Warfare", our children and families eternal souls are at stake. Peace Be With you. Deborah.
here are the links and tools to help you:
http://www.biblechristiansociety.com/
http://www.catholicapologetics.org/
www.catholic.com
and you can listen tocatholic answers live, on EWTN.com
http://viewers.multicastmedia.com/viewer/viewerframes_parent.asp?b=...
You can also google "Catholic Apologetics"
Father Corapi is great too. look him up!
www.FatherCorapi.com

Also, you can go to any Catholic bookstore and go the the apologetics section, there are study courses, and books.
Now, you yourself will have to study up on this, but I guarantee you will grow immensely in your faith, and in these days and times, prayer is great, but action is greater! Lets not take a passive approach, but at the same time we must not take an angry approach. We must approach this with love.
I am so glad that my husband and I were introduces to apologetics, and we are now working hard to try to have an apologetics course included in the RCIA.
We also want to have a class for those in our Parrish, because I feel if our brothers know what I know about the church, they would be in a constant state of awe and wonder, and they would revere all things Catholic. For, what a gift Jesus gave us in HIS Church. I will pray for you...That GOD gives you the courage knowledge and wisdom to bring your family back together in union with God.Peace be with you.""""
I hope this helps you.

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Permalink Reply by Theresa Wright on July 9, 2009 at 7:32pm

I thought I was a good Catholic until my son let himself be pulled away from it. I then talked to my priest. But the one thing that really helped was watching The Journey Home on EWTN. They have lots of info on books and such. I started reading up on my Catholic Faith and I was amazed at how much I really did'nt know. Catholic Apologetics helped, but the books that helped the most was "Surprised By Truth" I, II, III by Patrick Madrid. Its stories about conversions. People who found their way to the Catholic Faith and also Catholics that strayed from the church or felt like you do. If you can, pick up a copy. I think it would really help. I also attend adoration at my church. Also try reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church. :)