The Community for Catholic Moms

Help! Stubborn 2.5 yr. old.

Hey Everyone. I'm a little discouraged this afternoon. I know I'm a good mom to my three boys (5.5 y, 2.5 y, and 3m), but sometimes I just run out of ideas on how to deal with them. My 2.5 y old is sweet as can be, until things stop going his way. He has been throwing nasty fits over just about anything. I usually stick my ground. I made him finish his broccoli before he could have the "fun" food, and I put him in his room/bathroom (b/c he had 2 fits during lunch) whenever he was screaming/crying/whining/terrorizing the rest of the family w/ his sounds. I stuck it out and he knew I wasn't going to give in, so he finally gave up and ate his food.

A little while later we began our nap-time routine. For the past 3 days he's been refusing to nap. We are quickly getting into all sorts of bad habits. Him getting out of bed, him getting spankings (which he doesn't seem to mind), him talking back, getting into things, banging on things..well, you get the idea. I end up ignoring him because I'm so close to losing my temper, which he likes because when I stop going up there, he can just do whatever he wants. He keeps himself busy until he's been up there for 3 hours and I finally let him out. Problem: He gets out of naps!

My questions.

How do you deal with a super stubborn child who seems to just loooove to push all your buttons?

How else can you discipline a child who doesn't care if you spank him/her?

My thinking is: 1) He has to follow the family rules. 2) He can't be allowed to misbehave and then skip naps, because then he is basically making his own rules and having things his way.

If he truly is the type of person who no longer needs a nap, he still has to do quiet time in his room for my sanity. We'd have the same issues: him not being quiet.

Any ideas? I'm completely out.

Tags: discipline, nap, nap-time, naptime, spanking, tantrums, temper, toddlers

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Atara on April 8, 2011 at 7:08am

My son is 2.5 so I know what you mean!

On the topic of naps - is he tired enough? Is he in a transition with napping? My son knows that he has to stay in his room 2 hours from when nap starts. He can get up and play when he wakes up. Sometimes he plays before he naps, but we are so routined that he goes to bed right away. Since yours is not napping at all, try moving the nap time later in the day or something like that. Is he sleeping all night? He may not need a lot of sleep, but he does need quiet/play time. If he is not grumpy the rest because he played instead of nap, then he may not need the nap. So, just tell him it's quiet time. I really don't make my son be terribly quiet in quiet time. I just make sure there are plenty of things for him to do and alternate the available toys. I figure as long as he is in his room, being productive and playing - I am good. :-) I mean, it's not like he can read yet, HA HA! Set out coloring books and colors, train sets he can put together, blocks to stack, etc. Note: he does a have a "playtime" in his room, with a timer, for 45 minutes every morning. This is when I get ready. So, he knows that nap time is different because I don't turn on music, lights off, sound machine on, etc.

Stop spanking if it's not working. He will only get immune to it. I discovered that my son hates being isolated. So, sending him to his room until he has calmed down works much better. I send him to his room and when I hear his is quiet (usually he starts playing after the fit) I go in and have him apologize to me for his behavior.

I hope that helps! Good job on the food though!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Elisa on April 8, 2011 at 12:16pm

Hmm...I will really have to sit down with my husband and try to figure out where our kiddo is at. I was thinking that maybe he just isn't tired enough, in which case I will definitely try quiet time with books and puzzles. I cannot WAIT until my boys can read, my older one is 5.5 and starting too, and I just can't wait until they go to their rooms and read quietly. =) Thanks for your advice on this one and the other anger management post. Great ideas.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Elisa on April 8, 2011 at 12:20pm

Oh yes, he is definitely testing his boundaries. He obeys way better for Daddy. I feel like he is trying to find out whether I'll let him get away with stuff or whether I'll stick to my rules. He just knows exactly how to wear me out and he usually picks a fight on everything...like: "I don't want to nap...I have to pee...I don't want the door closed/open (opposite of whatever I did)...I don't want that song (wants a different song). I just don't think kids should have so many choices. I just think he hears his older brother argue everything, but he just needs to learn that whatever I said goes, no matter what.