Faith and Family Connect

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Dispensations for sterilzations

Hi everyone,

I heard something new tonight. I was asked (yet again) about my husband and I using NFP and allowing God to decide the number of children in our family. One of the ladies said something about getting a special dispensation from a priest to allow them to have permanent sterilizations.

I understand that there are priests who will often tell people what they want to hear in regards to birth control so as to not offend--and I believe that is an entirely different conversation. :)

I would like to know if a.) there is something such as this that is Vatican approved and where I could find that in the CCC or elsewhere and b.) what kind of response, if any, should I give when this is brought up?

Blessings,
Lynn

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Permalink Reply by Corinne O'Brien on July 21, 2009 at 7:21am
To my knowledge the only approved sterilization is abstinence.

What is with everyone? I understand love, passion, all that stuff but what is wrong with abstinence or as I read from someone else, getting creative with your lovemaking. Have we become so self indulgent with no self control or denial of a little pleasure that we cannot forgo sex once in a while?

Having never been pregnant myself and trust me, it is not from a lack of trying, I just do not get how as Catholics, you are not open to the possibility of life. At age 53 it is probably not going to happen for my husband and me but I would be elated if it did. Of course I would be concerned about the health of the baby and my own health and would take responsibility for that. I have 4 adopted boys and was hoping to adopt 2 girls from foster care but so far that has not worked out for us.

Accept the gift that you are able to become pregnant, do what you need to do to be responsible, but get over the birth control or sterility thing. I am really tired of Catholics trying to make the Church fit to their wants and desires. God made us this way for a reason. Trust that God knows what is best for you.

For hundreds of years, the human race had no access to any kind of birth control, yet there were people that only had 1 or 2 children. Did you ever think about that? We have only had birth control for maybe 50 years? Do you really think everyone is better off now than 50 years ago?
Permalink Reply by Lynn Frank on July 21, 2009 at 8:21am
Corrine,

Nicely written. I agree with you 100%. I believe the situation had something to do with either the health of the mother should she conceive again or the fact that they have disabled children.

I hope everyone understands that I don't agree with this, I'm just trying to educate myself. I'm fairly certain your questions at the end are rhetorical so I won't answer them. :)

If we have priests that are handing out 'dispensations' for this, I'd like to know more about that.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Lynn
Permalink Reply by Abby Sasscer on August 28, 2009 at 8:16pm
Corrine,

I believe Lynn posted this question in the forum in order to find answers and be able to defend our faith with others who believe sterlization is okay (priests included). I don't think she agrees with "dispensated sterlizations" considering she and her husband use NFP.

Lynn,

I admire your desire to know your faith more and defend it more readily. God Bless you !
Permalink Reply by Lynn Frank on August 28, 2009 at 9:36pm
Thank you, Abby! Boy, did I need to hear this today!

I'm due any day with #4 and I was at football practice last night with my 8 year old and a complete stranger asked me if this was my first and when I told her it was my 4th she said "Are you done?" and I did my standard "Oh, we'll see..." and then she said something I've never had asked of me, she said "Well, what does that mean? What makes you want to have four kids? That's a lot of work!" Oh, my, did the prayers start flowing...patience, wisdom, confidence...all these things that don't come easily to me in this setting and I was totally put on the spot by a complete stranger. Surrounded by my fellow football moms that really don't know me as Lynn The Crazy Catholic Chic--but now they do. :) Definitely this is where the Lord has felt I need to be tested...over and over again.

I appreciate you understanding where I'm coming from with my question. Blessings to you and your family,

Lynn
Permalink Reply by RMT on July 21, 2009 at 9:00am
As far as I know, sterilization is NEVER acceptable as a means to prevent pregnancies. If, however, surgery is being done to treat a medical condition, and sterilization is a side effect, that is acceptable. This is because sterilization is not the point of the surgery. For example, removing a uterus with cancer will sterilize a woman, but the surgery was done to treat the cancer.

If a convert/revert/uneducated Catholic has gotten purposely sterilized, they are required to repent, of course, and ask forgiveness in confession, but they are not required to get the surgery reversed. Maybe this is what that person meant?

I was trying to find a source for this info, but the baby's awake, so hopefully someone else can fill in those blanks!
Permalink Reply by Karen Murphy Corr on August 11, 2009 at 2:41pm
This is interesting as one older priest in the city where we used to live (who made it clear he was NOT fond of babies or young children btw - kind of not continuing the pro-life stance through to the logical conclusion methinks but there you go - we went to another parish more welcoming of children....but I digress) apparently told several fathers it was fine to have a vasectomy. Lots of fathers discussed it at the school bingo one night. I was surprised to hear they'd been told by the priest it was fine. It was very much a "if you must, two kids is normal" kind of philosophy.
Permalink Reply by Robyn Lee on August 28, 2009 at 9:29am
Thank you for your comments to the forum on Faith and Family Connect. My name is Robyn Lee. I am the managing editor at Faith & Family magazine and I monitor all the posts on the Faith and Family Connect forum. After reading the questions and comments posted here I’ve asked Fr. Thomas Berg from the Westchester Institute to clarify a few points. I’ve posted his comments below:

The Church teaches that direct sterilization of men or women with contraceptive intent is always a grave moral evil. Direct sterilization, however, is to be distinguished from indirect sterilization, which can be permitted for therapeutic reasons. In other words, a procedure (such as a hysterectomy) which is undertaken for very serious health reasons (such as cancer) does in fact render the woman sterile. However, such sterility is considered in moral terms “indirect” in the sense that it was not directly intended and was simply tolerated as a foreseen, but undesired consequence. The principle of totality states that an individual organ may be sacrificed for the good of the whole. As long as this negative effect (sterility) was not directly intended, then no moral evil is committed in this case.

Fr. Thomas Berg, Ph.D.
Executive Director
The Westchester Institute for Ethics & the Human Person
Permalink Reply by Marie V. on August 28, 2009 at 2:42pm
Thank you Robyn!
Permalink Reply by Lynn Frank on August 28, 2009 at 3:32pm
Robyn,

Thank you so much for this information. I think Fr. Berg worded this very well and with great clarification. Because I've had so many conversations about this with people who consider themselves Catholic I can tell you that there are many ways to define "serious health reasons". I've heard everything from having multiple child with handicaps to multiple miscarriages to some sort of issue with a bone that won't allow a child to birth through the canal.

It's frustrating to me that when people hear that this is how we've chosen to live our lives they must justify their choice to listen to doctors over God. God has not blessed me with the gift of silence on this matter. A conversation with my priest was the best medicine for me when he advised me to explain more how my husband and I got to this point in our marriage rather than pointing out 'the rules". I have found that to be difficult but I walk away from the conversation a lot more comfortable with myself and the things I've said.

I really appreciate you taking the time to ask Fr. Berg about this issue.
Blessings to you and your family,
Lynn
Permalink Reply by Diana H. on August 29, 2009 at 3:22pm
There's clearly a LOT of dissension among priests on the issue of sterilization. I know about 10 people who were told it was fine to be sterilized after having some major health/financial problems. There are even some priests that disagree with the church on the morality of birth control pills. Years ago, I went to confession to confess using the pill (not in any way to try to get permission to use them-- only to confess). A monsignor (sp?) told me that it wasn't a sin. He told me that it didn't need to be confessed, and he wouldn't give me a penance. Also, the priest at our engaged encounter was asked directly if using the pill was a sin. He said, "it's not a sin in and of itself, but it can lead to sin." People really have to rely on their catechism these days.

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