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Complicated Question from 4 year old

So, we attend mass regularly and I have tried to explain to my 4 year old that the Eucharist is really the Body and Blood of Jesus. I guess I must have also explained that we go to heaven because we eat and drink the body and blood of Jesus.

So, when my cousin was killed in the line of duty in Afghanistan, we attended his funeral and I tried to explain the best that I could that he was in heaven, and God calls us to heaven when He is ready.

So, the past couple of weeks after mass, my 4 year old has asked me, "Mommy, what happens if we don't eat the body of Christ?" I think in her mind she is thinking that what happens if I die and I haven't eaten the body of Christ? I don't really know how to answer that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Peace and Blessings!

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Permalink Reply by Patricia on January 19, 2010 at 1:32pm

Please accept my sincere condolences at the loss of your cousin! We will pray for his soul & for your family. I'm not sure I have a good suggestion as to how to address your 4-year old's concerns. Children can be very deep spiritual thinkers, that is for sure. It is often we adults who miss out on the simple truths of our Faith because we are jaded or cynical or doubtful.

Since God alone knows the state of a soul upon death, we can't presume that a loved one is in heaven. This is the teaching of the Catholic Church. It certainly IS our hope & fervent prayer that our loved ones are in heaven. However, we do a great disservice to our deceased loved ones by assuming they are in heaven & not praying for their souls. Our children often hear at non-Catholic funerals the assurance that the departed individual is in heaven. We have taught our children that the Church teaches that only God knows the state of one's soul, that we must pray for the deceased, & that God loves & cares for the person who has died even more than we do -- & I think that provides a measure of comfort for them. I think your reply that God calls us to Him when He is ready is an excellent response.

Perhaps you could teach your daughter about how to make a Spiritual Communion if one is unable to receives the Eucharist.
May God bless you & your family.

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on January 19, 2010 at 1:50pm

Thank you, for your response. You are right, I need to teach them to pray for all of the departed. It's tricky when I don't have all the answers...

I hope I don't sound to ignorant when I ask, what is a Spiritual Communion? I have been Catholic for most of my life and I don't think I know what that is.

Thank you! & Blessings to you and your family as well.

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Permalink Reply by Patricia on January 19, 2010 at 2:31pm

By praying a Spiritual Communion, we unite ourselves spiritually ("in communion") with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament when we cannot receive Him physically (in Communion). Here is a nice Act of Spiritual Communion from EWTN's website:

ACT OF SPIRITUAL COMMUNION

My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.

Amen.

P.S. I am learning as I go, too! I don't think I had heard of an Act of Spiritual Communion until I began homeschooling our children.

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on January 19, 2010 at 2:49pm

Awesome! Thank you!

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Permalink Reply by Selina German on January 20, 2010 at 3:37pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost friends in Afghanistan as my husband is a service member. I also understand deep questions from a 4 year old. I will be of no help with your question as I would be completely stumped as well. I will pray that you find an appropriate answer for your daughter.

God Bless you and your family.

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on January 20, 2010 at 4:27pm

Thank you. May God Bless your husband and all of our military.

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Permalink Reply by Erika Marie on January 21, 2010 at 3:59pm

I think this can be a good age help them connect choices & consequences. I'm sure by now she is beginning to understand that her choices in behavior will have good/bad consequences as regulted between her and you. Our life and relationship with God is the same. How we behave here, how much we love/not love will have a consequence on what happens to our souls when our life is over.

With the Eucharist, this is also the time to instill a love for Jesus and for the desire to join our lives completely with Him and His Will for us. Maybe you can read her some stories from St. Therese and help her learn about loving Jesus in the small ways.

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Permalink Reply by Lisa Seeber on January 24, 2010 at 11:39pm

I am not sure this will really answer her question but . . . have you heard of a series of books called Angel Food for Boys and Girls? They are written by a priest and he writes as if he was talking to the children. Each short story has a good lesson that prompts many questions. He really pushes confession and communion. None of my 5 are old enough for either but these books have instilled a desire for both sacraments and knowledge of good decisions/bad decisions etc. My oldest (just 6) fervantly wants first communion and is learning all he can . . .

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Permalink Reply by Lindsey on January 25, 2010 at 10:17am

I will look those books up, they sound wonderful! Both my 4 year old and 3 year old want to take the "Body of Christ" as they say. :o)

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Permalink Reply by Patricia on January 26, 2010 at 9:58am

Lindsey,
You might also consider reading to your children about the lives of St. Tarcisuis & Bl. Imelda Lambertini, both Patron Saints of First Communicants:

Saint Tarcisuis
http://saints.sqpn.com/saint-tarcisius/
http://www.ewtn.org/library/MARY/TARCIS.HTM

Blessed Imelda Lambertini
http://saints.sqpn.com/sainti10.htm
(A wonderful book is "Patron Saint of First Communicants: The Story of Blessed Imelda Lambertini" by Mary Fabyan Windeatt, TAN Publishers)

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Permalink Reply by Jenni on January 26, 2010 at 10:36am

I can second the comments about making sure a child knows that a soul is in God's hands when it leaves Earth, and that we must pray that its fate is favorable.

But I also wanted to share how I grew up learning about death. My mother would always take me along to visitations, and would tell me that the person needed our prayers so that it might help them get to heaven. She also pointed out to me that those who receive communion are human tabernacles b/c they hold Jesus. That gave me a further respect for the deceased, especially because I think many children have a basic idea of what a tabernacle is and its significance.

I guess those things were all I needed as a kid; I don't remember going deeper, but I just wanted to share that all the same. I don't know if this will also help, but the song "Sanctuary" comes to mind when I think of us as tabernacles. It's a Protestant song, but one of those that is soooo Catholic! Just replace the word "sanctuary" with "tabernacle"!

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sa20GHWJj4