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Believing "Everything" about catholicism

I was talking to a friend who is seeking spiritual direction. (I would say I am too) Among many comments made, she said "Well you know I was Catholic at one time but there are things with which I do not agree.  So out of respect for Catholocism, I would never practice it again."  Her biggest issue with the Catholic church is its stance on homosexuality.

 

It got me thinking- I have questions about and do not agree with everything that Catholic doctrine says I should-- ie limited role of women in the church, birth control.  So my question is-- am I being completely disrepectful to my church and religion?  Do i have to believe "everything" to identify myself as Catholic.

 

Thanks for any insight...

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on February 17, 2010 at 4:39am
Hi Cheryl,

BOY - do I feel your pain.

Even though I have always loved my Catholic faith and the Church without understanding Her (I'm part of Generation "K" (Kumbaya), meaning no catechesis except "Jesus is your Buddy")...I remember those quiet conflicts in my head, even during Mass. I'd be upset at no women priests, and I can remember being angry at John Paul II for being an old man not knowing anything about marriage and "who is he" to tell us what we can and can't do regarding birth control and every other concern regarding "my" body. I shudder now to think of it.

I just wanted to share that with you to let you know that you certainly aren't the only one who's ever struggled with these questions. I also want to share with you that God can certainly change your heart if only for the asking. Often, I will struggle and think and wonder and question (and fight sometimes)... But many times, I don't shift an inch until I ask God directly to change my heart to conform it to His will for me. The big changes in my life have always, always come after such a prayer: homeschooling, home keeping, marriage, fertility, and on and on.

Sending prayers and hugs from a fellow traveler. Blessings
Permalink Reply by Robyn Lee on February 17, 2010 at 2:12pm
Check out Fr. John Bartunek's answer to this question:
http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/how_much_must_i_believe/

Robyn Lee
Managing Editor
Faith & Family
Permalink Reply by Meghan on February 17, 2010 at 2:16pm
Sorry I'm late to the discussion, I hope this is still helpful and will keep you in my prayers. Please do be honest with your struggles and question any Church teaching that you do not understand. Please do bring these things to Christ and pray for understanding with an open heart and mind.

I'd like to encourage you, before definitively rejecting a particular teaching of the Church, to reflect on the nature of the Church's existence. If we believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth, and if we believe in Christ, His only Son, our Lord, and if we believe that Christ instituted the Church and safeguards her teachings, as scripture describes – then we cannot rationally reject one particular teaching without rejecting the authority of the Church as a whole.

Maybe "Do I believe that Christ instituted the church and safeguards her teachings?" would be a more fruitful question in your spiritual struggles than "Do I believe in the Church teaching that homosexual sex is sinful?"
Permalink Reply by Vanessa on February 21, 2010 at 2:15pm
As humans, we cannot always understand God's ways exactly. Our views are marred by our fallen human existence. This is the exact reason that God blessed us with the papacy. I think you are smart to seek out answers to the questions you have. We are always called to continue to grow in our faith and we do that by continually asking and seeking. With that said however, if we truly want to grow we have to remember that even while we may not understand everything we still need to follow the teachings. We have to truly want to understand and seek out information from reputable sources. For instance, if you disagree with what the Church says about birth control, think hard about why you disagree. Try to separate yourself from your emotions and find out exactly why the church teaches against birth control. God is the creator, thus he makes the rules. And a good thing to remember is that God is like the ultimate parent.....he doesn't make rules to restrict us in our lives. He makes them for our own good, to help us to live a life that will help us get to heaven. He always has our greater good at the forefront. so while you may not always understand, try to remember that.
As for your friend, please make sure that she understands that the church does not have a "problem" with homsexuality. It teaches against ACTING on those urges. We are ALL called to a life of chastity no matter what our vocation in life. Just because we have urges does not give us the go ahead to act on them. For example, just because a man is married to his wife does not give him the right to have sexual intercourse with her whenever he pleases. Married couples also need to live chastely in other aspects, for example in their speech and dress. We ALL need to consider these things and that is all the church asks of homosexuals....that they live chastely and not act on their desires because they are not free to do so. I hope that makes sense.
Continue to seek answers to your questions. Catholic.com is always a good source for answers. I will say some prayers for you on your journey. God bless you.
Permalink Reply by Karen Cross on February 25, 2010 at 5:44am
Just read your response Vanessa... I like what you said! Good way to put it!
Permalink Reply by Karen Cross on February 24, 2010 at 6:36am
Hey Cheryl,

I haven't read through ALL the responses here, but read the first few. I struggle with the exact same thing. I have often wondered the same thing. If one doesn't believe in ALL things Catholic, can they call themselves Catholic? I say they can. And I would say you can too and I will tell you why I think so. I'm not a Pope, nor did I contribute anything to the Catechism, but based on my experiences and prayer, I think I have found my answer.

Catholicism is the one true Church. Do you believe that? If you believe that, other things will follow through prayer. There could be things you are struggling with about our faith, so it's important to bring it to prayer and open yourself up to the truth that God is going to show you. We all struggle with different things about being Catholic. Catholicism is very hard. That's why everyone doesn't do it. ;)

I think that God knows your heart. If you are truly seeking the truth, He will show you and He will know you are trying your best. But it's also important that you bring these doubts to the confessional and tell it to a priest. Maybe he can help you. You can be going through all the motions in your head about what's right and wrong about Catholicism, but if it's not in your heart, you will find it hard to incorporate it into your life and teach it to your children.

NFP has become a part of our life. I truly believe, now, that it's the best thing for my husband and I. Not only for my physical health (the birth control pill is not healthy), but spiritual. The sex act is so beautiful and so intimate that God gave that to us to share with our partner, and with Him. When we contracept, we take God out of the equation.

Anyway, I have to get off this computer this morning!! I hope this helps. I think we all do the best we can with our faith and beliefs. Please don't turn AWAY from the Church because of your doubts, turn TOWARDS it.

God bless.
Permalink Reply by Vanessa on February 26, 2010 at 12:57am
Karen, what a wonderful way to put it! Wow, I got teary eyed reading your response. You have a wonderful way with words. I once heard it said that Catholicism is the hardest religion to live by, but the safest to die by.
Permalink Reply by Karen Cross on February 26, 2010 at 5:32am
Thanks Vanessa! Love your last sentence. So true!
Permalink Reply by Karen Cross on March 1, 2010 at 5:36am
It definitely makes sense Sabrina! I like your analogy of leaving the Church to leaving the US. I have joked around about doing that. You're right, people don't leave, they fight for what they think is right, or they just ignore the craziness and live how they think they should. This was a good way of putting this! God bless!
Permalink Reply by Mary Brazeau on March 1, 2010 at 3:33pm
A woman local to me had another great perspective (can't find her blog anymore) about the term Cafeteria Catholic. It was the very negative term for Catholics who knew the teachings but rejected them. Usually uised judgementally. She said she didn't mind being a cafeteria catholic-- she pictured going through the line and having EVERYTHING dropped onto your tray but picking your favorites first. Those favorites feed you. They are from God. Sure eventually you have to deal with the other things you've been just pushing around the plate but when you get there perhaps is when God is ready for you to understand that, or when he needs you to have that grace.
Permalink Reply by Jane Jones on March 5, 2010 at 6:31pm
Hello Cheryl ~ I was just thinking that the most beautiful aspect of our Catholic Faith is the virtue of obedience. Our Dear Lord showed us His while on earth. In the tender and touching scene in the Garden of Gethsemane, He said, "Father, let this cup pass from me; yet not my will but Thine be done!" The New Age "Religion" is the one to choose if we want to feel good about all our beliefs. What a wonderful thing it is to have the Church to help us along the path of life to teach us how to go. Regarding the limited role of women in the Church, Pope John Paul II wrote the wonderful encyclical, Mulier Dignitatem. And regarding birth control, Pope Paul IV wrote Humanae Vitae. Both are wonderful encyclicals that will help shape and form you and me to be better sheep in our Lord's fold! Some people might say that if you are just sheeplike and obedient, you don't have a mind of your own. I personally feel so so good knowing that the pressure is OFF and I can just be free to love and to learn my whole life long! ! ! Obedience is wonderful. When I don't agree with my husband about something he is determined to hold fast to, I just defer to his judgement, offer it up to Almighty God and smile inside, knowing that when I stand before Him at the end of my life, I can say, "Lord, I was your servant. I was obedient ( even unto death sometimes, or so it seems! ) . Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. " :)
Permalink Reply by Diana H. on March 8, 2010 at 12:16pm
I have a different take on the issue of women having a "limited role" in the Church. I know some awesome, powerful, fabulous nuns!!! Also, most of us women get to raise the future generation of Christian leaders-- now that's power! I doubt that Pope himself would have become the Pope (or even a priest) without a really fabulous, powerful, Catholic mama!!! Our role as Catholic mothers is UNLIMITED!!!

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